life update

I’ve been spending the past 2 1/2 weeks or so since last I posted trying to come up with something profound to say about my life’s most recent events, and falling short. And then I got a text from my friend saying she’d been catching up on my blog and loved reading about the smorgasboard Steve and I made, and was thinking about my cousin, and I thought, “Eesh, better update the blog.”

First, because life is awful and arbitrary, my cousin Chris did not make it, and I’ll be traveling home tomorrow night to attend his funeral. To hear from doctors daily and get scary news, okay news, scary news, okay news, very very scary news, really encouraging news… it was exhausting, and also resulted in all of us feeling a lot of hope, because, well, what else do you do? So then to have this THUD, this gut punch of awful final news, was just horrific The only meaning come out of the whole thing was that his heart and lungs went off to make other families weep with joy while ours was left weeping in mourning and well… I don’t know how it means anything. Anyway, I’m going to stop cramming at Biochem, and bingeing on Netflix, and drive home and come to terms with the real thing that has happened. I wouldn’t miss being with my family at this time for anything, but I also know it will hurt. A lot.

In news that really sort of pales in comparison in the grand scheme of things, Steve and I have broken up. We’re fine, we had dinner together tonight and are in a peaceful sort of place right now. We’re both building ourselves up as individuals and feeling real gratitude for our friends. But uh… man, January was a bitch.

I’ve still been taking random pictures of life things… not sure when I’ll feel like documenting my life on this blog. It’ll probably be awhile.


4 thoughts on “life update

  1. I know it’s not really my place to comment, but I wish you strength and comfort. I miss you profoundly and hope that your family is able to provide you the support you need right now. I am so sorry for everything at this point in time. Keep with it Ileana, your family needs you and so does this world.

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